Conservatives vs. Liberals!

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black or Hispanic man is conservative, he sees himself as independently successful.
His liberal counterpart sees himself as a victim in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
A liberal demands the shut down of those he doesn’t like.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his health care.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs, might be embarrassed, and continues on his way.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and files a lawsuit against the store.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends so they can have a good laugh.
A liberal who reads this will delete it because he's offended.